


Dear Eddie (iii)

by shauds



Series: Sincerely, your penpal [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood: Lost Days
Genre: AU, Gen, Letters, Self-indugent, mentions of the all caste
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shauds/pseuds/shauds
Summary: Letter from Jason to Eddie in an AU where they got in touch after the Lazarus pit.Jason learned that people are calling him reckless. Then he fought something in a haunted forest.





	Dear Eddie (iii)

Dear Eddie

Titans are assholes, moronic assholes who all donated their brains to the JL supercomputer and can't think for themselves any more. It has nothing to do with Nightwing. I haven't even spoken to that guy in years. Told you you were too smart for them and that's their loss. Losers are probably building a team of cannon fodder little kids who don't know what the hell they're doing. You've got more experience than half the grown ass adults patting themselves on the backs for doing things ass backwards and letting those kids out there.

You were plenty serious about hero work, the right mindset these days is dumbass, and while you straddle the line real close, you'll never make that requirement. Sorry, truth hurts.

I get if you don't want handouts, and I swear that's not what this is. I told the new CEO of LexCorp about you, that's all I did (she saw you on that broadcast too) and she was really impressed. If you're still looking for work, call the number on the card I dropped in this envelope. Word of warning if you do end up taking the job, don't give them the plans for your suit. She's not Luthor, but he still technically owns the company, so yeah.

I know you wanted to work on movies like your aunt. but you'll need capitol for that, and the research salary at LexCorp is pretty good.

In other news. You'll be pleased to note that the damned forest, Schwarzwald (don't check my spelling on that) creepy fucking name, was in fact haunted. You'll be pleased to note it WAS haunted. Past tense. I checked it out because I was just a couple of miles away when your letter arrived and thought I could do with a vacation. That was not a fucking vacation, my God! I am never taking travel advice from you ever again. Do you even know any places that aren't haunted?

I was in the forest for about half an hour when things went to shit. Honestly I can't say I remember exactly what happened, but that ugly bastard should have known better then to mess with a dead man. It said some bull and didn't take well to "Talk shit get hit," for a reply.

Now it's gone or whatever and I'm being shipped off to monk school in the mountains because "magical enemies are something you should have prepared yourself for Jason". And I'm not getting anymore real teachers until I finish it. (You can't see it, but I'm rolling my eyes as I write this.) My god. I'm not going to be gallivanting after ghosts and werewolves, like, ever, I don't need to learn that kind of stuff. I don't get why anyone thinks I would need to learn that kind of stuff.

Also there was a clock museum. I don't know whose idea that was, and it wasn't haunted thank god. Turns our Black Forest cake is named after a liqueur that was invented around there. I had a lot of cake and it was heavenly.

The traveling's interesting and all, but I do miss school sometimes. Just the atmosphere of a class and whatever.

Originally I was in Germany to study life skills I guess you could call it and I was studying, no time for partys now Eddie (and the place was in the middle of nowhere). The teacher was an absolute asshole who drank these disgusting energy drinks like they were water. I sent you some as a souvenir, but really. don't drink them, they're gross. Inflict them on bad house guests instead. My sponsor was pretty pleased that he'll never ever be teaching again.

I was supposed to go study under a chemist next, learn medicine and whatever, but I thought I needed that dumb vacation, and now its monk school. God I hope they don't find out I'm calling it that, they're going to be more uptight than Nightwing's underwear, I can tell. Not sure how often I'll be able to write from there, but I'll do my best to keep you posted.

Also, if I do stupid shit, you do it way more often. If you could, I bet you'd actually be chasing after ghosts and werewolves right now. You'd probably BE a werewolf right now.

Hoping this letter finds you in good humanly health

Sincerely, your pen-pal

Jason P. Todd

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reading the old Blue Devil comics and all I feel like writing is Jason and Eddie stuff.


End file.
